A Slight Imperfection Alec Myre dragged the old-fashioned wet razor down the left side of his neck and stopped. It was such a simple movement, honed through years of pre-breakfast ritual, and should have passed in an instant without a single interruption to his thoughts of what needed to be done at the lab that day. There was a mark on the skin of his neck, below and behind his ear, barely noticeable. Just a slight whitening of the skin surface, only a few millimeters across. Last night's documentary about cancer heightening his awareness of changes in skin color. It was hard to see clearly, sitting just around the natural 'horizon' of his neck, and pulling on the skin only tended to hide it as the pressure changed the way the blood flowed under his skin. Alec grunted derisorily against his moment of paranoia and went back to shaving, only to stop again a few minutes later. There was another mark on the opposite side of his neck, identical both in size and location to the first. "Elisha? Come and look at this would you?" he called downstairs to his wife. "What is it? I'm busy." Alec heard the cheery rattle of dishes and bowls and smiled; he loved the family bonding that always made breakfast such a joy. "Danial, breakfast's ready! Come and eat or you'll be late for school." The curious marks were forgotten in an instant.   * * * * A couple of weeks later Alec was going through the same morning ritual. Again he spotted the odd discolouration just not quite in sight on his neck. This time the luxury of the weekend meant his thoughts weren’t so pre-occupied with hitting the road. Elisha was placing the steaming buttered toast on the table when he came down, but immediately caught the concern in his face. "What's wrong Alec?" "Do you remember those marks I told you about?" Elisha shook her head. "Hmm… perhaps I meant to mention them and forgot. Anyway, I just noticed them again. Would you have a look at my neck?" "Do you think it's something serious?" Elisha leaned over him, peering at his skin as if intensity of vision was enough to reveal any problem on its own. "Do you see them? Tiny white marks." "No, uhh, maybe…" She brushed her finger against the back of his neck in a gesture she knew he loved. "Does that help?" "Elisha? You do pick your moments." She smiled, her fine eyebrows arching. "Danny's over at the Fredric's for the morning. We have the place all to ourselves." "Dammit, I'm serious about this." Alec drew in a long breath. "Do you see them or not? Two little white spots, slightly indented or flattened maybe." "I don’t see them. Can you point to them?" Alec raised his finger and ran it over the general area; there was nothing there, just smooth skin and the gentle bristle of just shaved skin. No, there! There was something, he could feel the indentation just slightly. He felt the other side of his neck and quickly found the matching perturbation. "There, do you see where I am touching?" Elisha looked close, tilting her head this way and that to get more light on Alec's skin, pursing her lips in extreme concentration. "I really don't see anything that looks unusual." "You're just not looking properly." Alec tugged on the skin more. "There! It’s a different color. Don't you see?" "Oh Alec, it’s just a slight difference; you're a scientist you should know that people's skin isn't uniform." "That doesn't explain why there's exactly the same discoloration in the same place on the opposite side." Elisha ruffled his hair. "You are such a silly thing sometimes. I’m sure it's not really identical." Her face grew serious. "Are you working too much? I know things aren't easy at the lab." "We're trying to understand some of the most fundamental processes at work in our Universe; it's never going to be easy." Alec frowned slightly. "But I'm not cracking up if that's what you mean." "Perhaps you should speak with one of the Guides?" It was a question and Elisha did her best to make it sound as inconsequential as possible but nevertheless it rankled Alec. The suggestion was always there whenever he became worked up by something, no matter how slight. Perhaps you should speak to a Guide? Have you spoken to a Guide? Talk to the Guides, I'm sure they can help. As if his mental stability was so low it needed bolstering at every slight problem. There had just been that one time. Years ago now. But that was enough; 'lacking mental resilience' the categorization clung to him like an Albatross. "I'm okay. Don't worry about it." His tone had been biting and Alec regretted it immediately, letting out a soft sigh, Elisha was just trying to help and he knew that. He just wished she wouldn't be so intent on cocooning him from the slightest mental 'anguish'.   * * * * "Can we really be sure about these figures?" Shumena Himmons idly played with the transparent Flimsy she held, not really paying much attention to the words and figures scrolling up the sheet. She'd been director of the lab for over fifteen years and in that time had transformed from a master cosmologist at the head of her field, to a somewhat competent bureaucrat buried under a million picayune daily duties that left her no time to follow latest developments in great detail. Alec grunted. "You doubt my analysis?" "We're scientists, Alec. You know as well as I do that an analysis may be perfect – it's the conclusions that are often suspect." "I don't make wild claims, Dr. Himmons. The work has been checked several times by several researchers, my theory has held up under the closest scrutiny." "So after decades where the best minds have accepted the fact of Dark Energy and all of its consequences, we should just throw that out because of your analysis of a few pieces of rogue data? We should allow a slight imperfection to destroy the work of decades?" "Sometimes a slight imperfection is all that's needed to disprove something. The effect of Dark Energy has been overstated and to a large degree of error, my studies show that it’s ten percent or less of the figure previously thought." "And the effect of that, as you state here, is that the Universe will eventually halt its expansion and collapse back in on itself in the exact opposite of the Big Bang." "Yes, completing this part of the cycle." Dr. Himmons looked up at this, her eyeglasses catching the light so that the glass looked like an impassable solid mirror. "This cycle?" "My reports are not…" Alec stumbled. "Not 100% complete. I have data I haven’t yet released." "This is highly unusual. Scientists don't withhold information." The mirrored lenses flashed. "Especially not from their-" "I appreciate it's unusual. The circumstances are unusual though. I've been able to extend my analysis beyond the eventual collapse and can show that not only does the collapse happen, but that it's a vital step in the rebirth of the Universe. The Universe is cyclical." "Cyclical? That is nons-" "Cyclical. Infinite. And this is not the first cycle. I have been able to measure trace echoes of at least three previous Universes overlaid on ours. Nothing ever dies forever." Alec felt as if he were floating above the chair. He'd finally been able to tell someone what he'd found. The feeling of exhilaration at the release of his ‘secret’ leaving him almost light headed. "How could you... that's impossible..." Himmons hesitated briefly, then removed her glasses, placing them precisely centered on the desk before her. "Alec, I'm not usually one for encouraging informality I know-, perhaps that’s a mistake. But I'm not a complete robot. I spoke to Elisha earlier." "Elisha?" "She called earlier and mentioned you were worried about some spots you'd found. I got the impression that you were quite excitable about it." "I thought I noticed some marks on my skin and I was worried they might be something serious." Alec looked away briefly. "It was nothing, just a little TV- inspired paranoia." "Elisha seemed quite worried about you." Alec didn't reply, he couldn’t think of anything he could say right now that wouldn't make things sound worse. He burned inside with anger, that Elisha should have gone behind his back like this was… He couldn't even find a word for how it felt. "I would like you to see a Guide." Himmons held up a hand to forestall the inevitable protest. "I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with you and this has no bearing on the, uhh, theory you have presented to me." "As your employer we have a duty of care to ensure your well-being, Alec. I'm sure if one of your junior researchers was in similar circumstances you'd respond in the same way." "Are you ordering me to? "Of course not. This is a research institute, not a military establishment."  * * * * "How was it Alec?" Elisha greeted him at the door with her usual smile, though the wall that had grown between them after his talk with Dr. Himmons still left Alec coldly unresponsive to her overtures. "The usual. He's convinced my theories stem from the trauma of losing my parents and a psychotic need to prove that they aren’t really dead. I’m apparently ‘fixated’ on the concept that ultimately the universe will be reborn and they with it." "Does he really call you psychotic?" "Oh I suppose that's my translation. He just talks about the need to 'touch my inner feelings' and 'releasing suppressed grief'" Alec slumped on the sofa. "He doesn't see the spots on my neck either. Where's Danial?" "He's playing at the Fredric's. You know it's so good that we have a neighbor with a boy a similar age. I don't know how we'd cope without them." "We help them too. Jimmy comes around here a lot." "I know. I was just thinking though, it would be nice if we had someone else for him to play with. Maybe a little sister? Don't you think?" Alec stiffened slightly as Elisha brushed her fingertips across his cheek, snuggling close in to him. "I don't think…" "Then don't then." Elisha’s lips were warm against his.   * * * * "Alec?" Elisha was nuzzled in to his chest, resting her head lightly against him. "What makes you so sure that things have happened before? With everything I mean. Surely it’s impossible to tell." Alec was half asleep, floating on the cloud of warmth of intimate contact. "Hmmm? Oh it's just a slight imperfection in the background data." "Can you explain?" "It's complicated." He struggled to sit up a little. "Are you sure you want to know?" "I want to try and understand. I'm not an empty-headed fool." "Scientists came up with the idea of Dark Energy as pushing everything apart, but when I looked at the data the evidence just didn’t seem to show that it existed in the quantities needed. So I started to wonder if perhaps it even existed and started looking for other explanations." "Without Dark Energy there's nothing to keep pushing things apart and eventually gravitation will become the dominant force of the Universe and everything will hurtle back towards its common center of gravitational attraction and squash together in an infinitesimally small space." When I started to analyze cosmic background radiation I found that there were very subtle traces of previous organizations of matter." "Sorry I don’t understand." "Imagine it's like a piece of paper and you write a note on it. Later you erase it, but there are still traces of the note, no matter how much you try. Tiny fragments and remnants that survive and with sufficiently powerful analysis can be recovered." "And you found that?" Elisha sounded pleased, as if the fact that Alec had done that was enough, even if her own understanding wasn't necessarily complete. "The data is absolutely clear to anyone who looks with an unbiased mind. There have been several previous Universes, each one rebuilt on top of the old one." "So what will you do if the Lab won't support you?" It was a question Alec had thought about for several weeks. This wasn't the old days when you could publish without the backing of an institute. With the global information systems available, it was perfectly possible to publish to the widest audience as a complete independent – though that meant risking his position and reputation; a difficult choice with a young family to support. "I'm not sure. It would be awkward. I could lose my place at the lab. I don't suppose it really matters, even if I’m right. We're talking about an event billions of years from now." "But if it's true, then people should know." Elisha squeezed Alec's hand. "You should do what's right." "Mom! Dad!" Danial bawled from the lower floor. "I'll go." Elisha brushed her fingers across his neck as she stood, then left the bedroom. Alec drifted, wrapped in the soft warmth of the quilt. He could set up a site, present his findings, it didn't cost much. Or maybe use a free service. No, that would make him look even more of a crackpot. If he could, then just m… "Alec, come down here please." There was a strange quality to Elisha's voice, giving it a soft drifting half-whispered quality that blended in with Alec's semi-conscious state. He sat up suddenly. Realizing with that unconscious certainty that he had heard Elisha call, that it had been some time ago and that he had heard nothing since. He vaulted down the stairs trying simultaneously to throw on clothing and search wildly for clues as to what might have happened, Alec tumbled down the last few stairs, catching his elbow painfully on the floor before scrabbling to his feet. A faint glow drifted golden through the air, almost as if it were a fog rather than a light effect – like a sliver of afternoon sun carried on a mist of ether. It seemed to thicken towards the kitchen and Alec bolted that way, his bare feet squeaking on the tiled floor. Elisha was holding Danial on one side of the kitchen, completely motionless. Her head lowered so he couldn't see her face, her arm wrapped around their son as if to ward off evil. Somehow just in that glance, Alec could sense that neither of them was breathing and he felt his stomach churn. The glow thickened toward the right, forming a shapeless turbulence of light that burned his eyes and seemed to pulse as if alive. As he gaped at the scene his ears seemed to pick up a soundless heartbeat that nevertheless deafened him. "What?" Alec glanced at Elisha and Danial. "Why?" The streams of light seemed to implode in waves like a golden whirlwind running in reverse, the central mass thickening and growing brighter until the whole kitchen faded from sight in the intense glow. Then in an instant the light disappeared, leaving behind a man in a dark suit. "Hello, Alec." "Who are you?" Alec shook when he realized the figure looked identical to his old math teacher; something impossible unless the teacher had managed to evade the ravages of time for over twenty years. "I am from Outside." The figure hesitated. "Would you accept the explanation that I am God?" "No." Alec tried to move towards Elisha but found himself pinned. "If that's the best you can do, you better try again." "Would you accept me as an alien visitor more easily?" Alec shook his head. "I'm a scientist. Give me proof." The figure seemed to shiver, his outline blurring momentarily with a flare of light. "I'm a mathematician." The figure smiled. "Much like you in fact." "What have you done to them?" Tears streamed down Alec's cheeks. "Whatever it is you want, please don't hurt them." "Please, don't be upset. They aren't hurt. They can't be in fact." Again the figure hesitated as if it was having difficulty communicating. "We're not evil." "Who is 'we'?" "We? Those of us… Outside." " Outside where?" "None of this is real, Alec. I am the Creator." The creature stumbled. "That is I… We, made all of this. None of it is real." "That's impossible." Alec shook his head. "I'm real. This is real. They're real. Why are you lying to me like this? What do you really want?" "We run simulations. Just like you do when you carry out your researches, Alec. Everything you think you know is just a giant simulation. Our project was the simulation of the Universe itself, we wanted to see how life and intelligence would develop on its own." Alec snorted. Even if they could simulate something to the level of complexity and detail Alec saw in the world, the timescales were too long. Who would start a simulation knowing it would take billions of years to get the results back? "We don’t work on your timescale of course. That's one of the things that makes communication so difficult." "So why this visit?" The creature flickered again, briefly changing shape between his old schoolteacher, Dr. Himmons and the Guide. "This is very difficult. In fact we've never tried it before." The figure moved closer to Alec, seeming to study him intently. "We made an error and now it's threatening to destroy our work. You are threatening it in fact." "As you know from your own work, when you run a simulation, you don't just run it once – you run it hundreds or thousands of times." "That's exactly what we've done; you exist in cycle 11394 of the current series of simulations. Each time we wipe out the traces of the previous simulations entirely, or at least we thought we did, but it seems that somehow there were some very fine scale traces we hadn't allowed for and you noticed them." "Even if what you say is true, why me? Why should I notice things any more than anyone else?" "That's a good question. And, honestly, another one we don't really have the answer to. In this particular simulation we had recast some relatively minor intelligence sequences in order to match what we thought we knew about how intelligence developed. There shouldn't have been any real differences in the outcome at your epoch, but then you started noticing things you shouldn't. Like the marks on your neck." "We like to make things as detailed as possible of course, but there are limits. The marks represent the limits of our Holix engines. Programming those marks out would cost a lot and our budgets aren’t unlimited, so we simply hid them out of sight as best we could. Another flaw in our processes I'm afraid." Alec struggled to move, growing angrier by the minute. Whatever the creature's game he was having none of this. A simulation? What utter nonsense. Why he might as well believe in fairies or pixies if that were true. "You won't get away with this. Whatever your scheme is, I'll…" "We haven't time for this, Alec. The damage done by you releasing information about the true nature of your Universe has already started polluting the simulation and we have to clean up the mess before it spreads too far. Your wife and child have had all knowledge of this purged from their minds, along with your colleagues and their various cohabitants. It's like a disease, spreading through healthy tissue from the point of infection. If we act now, we can possibly stop it without it being too expensive, but the longer it goes on the harder it is to contain and the greater the chance that this entire sequence will need to be scrapped." Alec twisted and fell, his limited movement causing him to squirm on the floor like a worm. "Even if all you say is true, why not just wipe my mind too? If all I am is a piece in a simulation then what do you care? Just wipe my mind and get on with it." "Well…" "You, see, your ideas fall apart at the first sign of a rational inspection. You've drugged me and my family for some reason and…" "Alec." The creature reached down and lifted him back up, placing him on a kitchen stool as if he were made of the merest nothing. "Look at your wife's neck." "No!" Alec tried to struggle further. "I won't believe… whatever you've done…" Despite himself, his eyes wandered to Elisha, trying not to look too closely. "It’s not true. It can’t be." "We have a special interest in you Alec, you form one of the central strands that we are most interested in. If we are forced to modify you it would render this entire cycle worthless and cast doubt on all of the other work we have done. If possible we want to avoid that, but we can’t do that without your help." "What do you mean?" "We need you to agree not to pursue your current research. Discuss your theories of the cyclical Universe with no one." "They won't remember?" "The only person who currently knows about your work is you." "What about them?" Alec's gaze drifted over to his wife before he dragged it back to the thing in front of him. "Will I still be with them?" "Yes, that won't change. You will live out your life as normal." Alec dragged in raw lungfuls of air, his eyes screwed into clenched slits. "What happens if I don't? There's always an 'or else'?" "Alec, we don’t want this… that's why I came to you this way. We're not evil…" "What would happen?" Alec screamed in pure fear. "If we cannot persuade you, we would have to eliminate the source of the infection to make sure it was contained fully. Your wife and child would believe you had an accident and that would be the end of it." Alec's tears streamed down his face and neck. "You can't ask me to do that. It would be..." The figure seemed to flicker again, the light streaming from his profile in what appeared to be globs of fire. "We're out of time, Alec. Decide now"  * * * * "There's Daddy!" Danial's shout was clear all the way across the park and Alec smiled. Seconds later his arms were full of little boy and he swung the youngster into the sky, eliciting screeches of pleasure. Elisha walked up and slid her arms around both of them, the three of them holding tight on to one another in the pure sunshine of a warm spring evening. "How are things at the Lab?" Alec's slight intake of breath was barely audible. "Everything is fine, the usual routine. It's good to get home to you two." His eyes slipped away to the far horizon, deliberately avoiding the small discoloration on his wife's neck. It was such a slight imperfection.